Platoon (1986)::rating::4.5::rating::4.5::rating::4.5

P latoon isn't so much about the loss of innocence as the wholesale devastation of it. The opening scene depicts something familiar in war epics: A transport of clean-shaven, clueless teenagers debark into a jungle hellscape they could never imagine: Black soot-smoke blocks out the sun. The very ground mixes into a muck of mud…

ByTodd WoffordApril 12, 20230Comments

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80 for Brady (2023)::rating::2.5

I did not enjoy 80 for Brady. Believe me, I wanted to. After all, the film centers on the pure devotion of four true sports fans. I'm a diehard follower of the Oklahoma City Thunder. One year, the team was in the midst of a deep playoff run, and I hosted regular watch parties.…

ByTodd WoffordApril 10, 20230Comments

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Blow (2001)::rating::3

B low isn't so much a cousin to Goodfellas and Boogie Nights as it is a shameless little brother who insists on copying their every move. Like those classic films, Blow shows us a bleary-eyed protagonist, done-in by a lifetime of bad decisions. George Jung (Johnny Depp) built and squandered a drug empire, pissed away any meaningful relationships,…

ByTodd WoffordApril 5, 20230Comments

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Creed III (2023)::rating::3.5

A re the Creed films every bit as formulaic as the Rocky sequels that spawned them? You betcha. By now, these stories might as well be paint-by-numbers for the audience, with only the James Bond franchise surpassing them for sheer predictability. Weird thing is, they still work really well. The performances are always top-notch, the fight scenes are…

ByTodd WoffordApril 3, 20230Comments

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Duck Soup (1933)::rating::5

D raw a line from anything in any movie that's ever made you laugh, and you'll eventually connect to the Marx Brothers. Within Duck Soup, their goofy, shambling masterpiece, there are glimpses of what will be funny for the Pythons, the Goons, Dr. Strangelove, and Blazing Saddles. Its frantic wackiness is a strange cuvée of ingenious and idiotic,…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 29, 20230Comments

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Babylon (2022)::rating::2.5

B abylon begins as the cinematic equivalent of a hot, steaming bath, showcasing the unhinged hedonism of Hollywood in the Roaring Twenties. Over the grueling span of 190 withering minutes, the water gradually goes cold, rendering the audience into a pruny, shivering heap. Writer-director Damien Chazelle delivers enough movie for two full movies, but only one…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 23, 20230Comments

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Chinatown (1974)::rating::5

C hinatown is a gloriously grim masterpiece. It functions both as homage to the film noir heyday of the 1940s, and as a testament to the socio-cultural malaise of Nixonian America. Screenwriter Robert Towne and director Roman Polanski deliver a gripping mystery, an atmospheric period piece, and a low-key character study, all boosted by Oscar-level…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 22, 20230Comments

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Cocaine Bear (2023)::rating::3

A t every raging party, there's always That One Guy. You know him. He's a little bit jittery. A little bit sweaty. There's a big, powdery glob coming out of his nose and Jäegermeister coming out of every pore. He just met you five minutes ago, but goddammit...he loves you, man. At the end of…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 16, 20230Comments

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Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)::rating::3.5

A vatar: The Way of Water is 150 minutes of brawny, exhilarating sci-fi spectacle, splayed over 194 minutes of movie. For every badass action scene and 8K CGI of undulating squid-beasts, we get too many crises, too many characters, and too much dippy narration. As per usual, director James Cameron doesn’t know when his audience…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 11, 20230Comments

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EO (2022)::rating::4.5

O ne of the most remarkable things about EO is how such a passive main character can swell our hearts with empathy. Take the scene where EO the donkey stares out from an opening in a semi’s livestock trailer. At highway speed, he spots a herd of wild horses running wild in a field. That…

ByTodd WoffordMarch 9, 20230Comments