Prey (2022)::rating::4.5::rating::4.5::rating::4.5

P rey is the Predator prequel we never knew we needed. That first film was a campy, mud-soaked masterpiece of 80s mega-violence. Everything since has followed the formula of the Jurassic Park franchise: The second installment was...okay, I guess. All the other sequels and spin-offs sucked deep-fried donkey ding-a-lings. Going into this peculiar prequel, I would've been content…

ByTodd WoffordAugust 18, 20220Comments

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Army of Darkness (1992)::rating::3.5

O ver the course of its 81 minutes, Sam Raimi's Army of Darkness swells like a tidal wave of unadulterated goofiness. To enjoy any of it, even just a little, the viewer must allow themselves to become drenched. If you'll allow, Army's puerile one-liners and dazzling practical effects will carry you away in a current of knuckle-headed…

ByTodd WoffordAugust 16, 20220Comments

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Star Trek: First Contact (1996)::rating::4

S tar Trek: First Contact proves just how well people can work with their backs against the wall. The previous installment, Generations, had managed to disappoint critics and die-hard fans alike. Even that film's monumental teaming of nerd icons (Captains Kirk and Picard) fell curiously flat. There were rumblings that the Next Generation crew couldn't carry a film,…

ByTodd WoffordAugust 8, 20220Comments

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Primer (2004)::rating::3

I f you strapped me to a lie detector, and I told you I had a firm grasp of Primer's plot, that needle would be twitching like crazy. The dialogue is so slathered in technical jargon it makes Star Trek sound like Sesame Street. Add an elliptical plot structure and occasional dips in sound quality, and you've got the…

ByTodd WoffordAugust 1, 20220Comments

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The Gray Man (2022)::rating::2.5

W ith its frantic action scenes and brawny stunt work, The Gray Man could be an insecure cousin to the Bourne, Bond, and John Wick flicks. As an inferior product, Gray overcompensates by being bigger, busier, and louder, all in the vain hopes you won't notice how mediocre it really is. Put another way: That's a really soft two-and-a-half…

ByTodd WoffordJuly 29, 20220Comments

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12 Monkeys (1995)::rating::3.5

N o film does a better job of conveying the grimy, soulless future that awaits us than Terry Gilliam's 12 Monkeys. In 2035, a biblical plague has torn through humanity like a reaper's scythe. The battered tatters of our species cower in underground caves, wallowing and grumbling incoherently. Everyone looks covered in a layer of soot,…

ByTodd WoffordJuly 28, 20220Comments

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Nope (2022)::rating::3.5

W ith Nope, writer-director Jordan Peele delivers a bizarre, fascinating hybrid movie: On one hand, this is a burly sci-fi spectacle, with obvious echoes of Close Encounters, War of the Worlds, and Signs. Peele balances this admirable ambition with flourishes of B-movie silliness, dosing his horror film with the infectious humor of Tremors and the macabre whimsy of…

ByTodd WoffordJuly 23, 20220Comments

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Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)::rating::2

B efore I get to pounding this movie into ground chuck, let me be clear: I know anything called Hot Tub Time Machine ain't gonna be a Eugene O'Neill play. This movie is supposed to be an exercise in magnificent stupidity--blinding, blathering, and cut for optimal idiotic purity. And plenty of flicks have dwelled in this…

ByTodd WoffordJuly 20, 20220Comments

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Jurassic World Dominion (2022)::rating::2

J urassic World Dominion takes hundreds of millions of dollars, Oscar-level talent, and two-plus hours of the audience's valuable time, and shovels them all into a blazing furnace. The result is a hellish inferno that threatens to engulf any good vibes this franchise has left. Somehow, the filmmakers manage to make ravenous dinosaurs seem boring, while also…

ByTodd WoffordJuly 19, 20220Comments

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Ambulance (2022)::rating::2.5

A good movie flickers throughout Ambulance, like a light bulb in a haunted mansion. The only problem is, as always, director Michael Bay can't step back and let the story tell itself. Noooooo. He has to shoot every scene like he's directing a Super Bowl commercial with a gun to his head. That means every…

ByTodd WoffordJuly 14, 20220Comments