Isn’t It Romantic (2019)::rating::3.5::rating::3.5::rating::3.5

A s I watched Isn't It Romantic, my thoughts drifted to Leonard Maltin's review of a 1948 film of the same name. Maltin set the Guinness World Record for the shortest review with just one word: "No." I may not have Maltin's gift for succinctness, but I think I could boil my opinion of this movie down…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 15, 20190Comments

The Drink Menu The Podcast

Cinemavino – Episode 10 – The Stanley Tucci Chronicles::rating::0

I t's another week, another treat as Taylor Owens joins us for a Very Special Episode of Cinemavino. For this trip aboard the Crazy Train, we discuss our favorite Valentine's Day movies and drink a little Rosê and a bottle of bubbly. Once again, our new Scooby gang veers off on a few wild tangents:…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 14, 20190Comments

Latest

What Men Want (2019)::rating::2

W hat Men Want was built to be a spiritual successor to Mel Gibson's What Women Want, so it's not surprising when both films make many of the same mistakes. For those lucky enough to forget, What Women Want depicted a dickweed ad executive who harbored a cluelessly condescending attitude toward the women around him. The movie then imbues…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 12, 20190Comments

The Drink Menu The Podcast

Cinemavino – Episode 9: Artisanal Cottage Cheese::rating::0

For this week's episode, my good friend Taylor Owens comes aboard as we discuss our favorite "second movies." These could be standalone sequels or installments in a larger franchise, but either way, we found quite a few. Fair warning, things get pretty silly pretty quickly. To pair with our conversation, we drink Yardstick Cabernet, by Goldschmidt…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 9, 20190Comments

Latest

Cold Pursuit (2019)::rating::2.5

S ince the dawn of Charles Bronson's days as a leading man, Hollywood has made a mint on the trope of a mumbly, barrel-chested dad with everything to lose. The people he loves get killed or maimed, transforming our hero into a squib-splattering instrument of vigilante justice. Thugs with poor hygiene get mowed down in…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 8, 20190Comments

Latest Laughable

Serenity (2019)::rating::0.5

I walked into Serenity with only the knowledge I could glean from the movie's poster. Somehow, I walked out of the theater with even less knowledge. Not only about the movie, but about life in general. As the idiotic plot twists and atrocious dialogue soaked into my brain, I lost around 40 IQ points. Suddenly,…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 7, 20192Comments

Latest

Table Manners (2018)::rating::3.5

I grew up on a ranch, and I can still remember the fires that would sweep through almost every spring. The bluestem grass, the walnut trees, and the oaken corner posts were all left scorched and smoldering. But an amazing thing always happened: Rejuvenation. Green grass would sprout through the soot, singed tree branches…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 5, 20190Comments

The Drink Menu The Podcast

Cinemavino, Episode 8: Too Many Captains on this Island::rating::0

For this episode, Travis and I drink the wine that made us love wine and discuss the movies that made us love movies. This week's vino is a Cabernet from Requiem Winery, located in Washington's beautiful Columbia Valley. *It turns out "De-Lovely" is Cole Porter and not Bobby Darin. Wine's a hell of a drug.

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 30, 20190Comments

Latest

Stan & Ollie (2018)::rating::4

S omewhere, embedded within the raucous, irresistible comedy of the Three Stooges, the Marx Brothers, and Laurel and Hardy, lies a parable about the bond of brotherhood. Through the daredevil shenanigans and harebrained schemes, a real love was palpable. Laurel and Hardy may not have been related by blood, but they completed each other like…

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 28, 20192Comments

Latest

The Kid Who Would Be King (2019)::rating::3

T he Kid Who Would Be King reminds me of those quirky daydreams I had as a nerdy 7th grader: A voice would come over the intercom and page chubby, adorable little Toddy into the hallway. Instead of a principal or a parent, I would imagine someone giving me a Goonies-style map to buried treasure, or a message…

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 26, 20190Comments