Serenity (2019)::rating::0.5::rating::0.5::rating::0.5

I walked into Serenity with only the knowledge I could glean from the movie's poster. Somehow, I walked out of the theater with even less knowledge. Not only about the movie, but about life in general. As the idiotic plot twists and atrocious dialogue soaked into my brain, I lost around 40 IQ points. Suddenly,…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 7, 20192Comments

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Table Manners (2018)::rating::3.5

I grew up on a ranch, and I can still remember the fires that would sweep through almost every spring. The bluestem grass, the walnut trees, and the oaken corner posts were all left scorched and smoldering. But an amazing thing always happened: Rejuvenation. Green grass would sprout through the soot, singed tree branches…

ByTodd WoffordFebruary 5, 20190Comments

The Drink Menu The Podcast

Cinemavino, Episode 8: Too Many Captains on this Island::rating::0

For this episode, Travis and I drink the wine that made us love wine and discuss the movies that made us love movies. This week's vino is a Cabernet from Requiem Winery, located in Washington's beautiful Columbia Valley. *It turns out "De-Lovely" is Cole Porter and not Bobby Darin. Wine's a hell of a drug.

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 30, 20190Comments

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Stan & Ollie (2018)::rating::4

S omewhere, embedded within the raucous, irresistible comedy of the Three Stooges, the Marx Brothers, and Laurel and Hardy, lies a parable about the bond of brotherhood. Through the daredevil shenanigans and harebrained schemes, a real love was palpable. Laurel and Hardy may not have been related by blood, but they completed each other like…

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 28, 20192Comments

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The Kid Who Would Be King (2019)::rating::3

T he Kid Who Would Be King reminds me of those quirky daydreams I had as a nerdy 7th grader: A voice would come over the intercom and page chubby, adorable little Toddy into the hallway. Instead of a principal or a parent, I would imagine someone giving me a Goonies-style map to buried treasure, or a message…

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 26, 20190Comments

The Drink Menu

Let Me Be Franc With You — A Wine and Lion Pairing::rating::0

By 1183, King Henry II had expanded England's territory deep into France. This included the Château de Chinon, a castle roughly 200 miles southwest of Paris. Situated in the Touraine region, Chinon became a favorite spot for Henry to conduct his royal affairs, in every sense of that term. The Lion in Winter depicts a fictionalized Christmas for…

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 25, 20190Comments

Greatest

The Lion in Winter (1968)::rating::5

Even though the film still features a few cinematic flourishes, The Lion in Winter largely crackles with the heat and energy of a ferocious theatrical performance.

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 23, 20190Comments

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On the Basis of Sex (2018)::rating::3

"Politics is the strong and slow boring of hard boards," Max Weber once observed, although the same could be said for any challenge to the cultural or legal status quo. Change often comes at the speed of continental drift and requires a paradoxical balance of fiery passion and boundless resolve to see it through. On…

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 21, 20190Comments

The Podcast

Cinemavino – Episode 7: Trailer Park Breakdown::rating::0

This week’s mini-sode provides a little analysis and backstory for a couple of upcoming trailers: Captain Marvel and Spider-Man: Far From Home. As someone who didn’t know a whole

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 21, 20190Comments

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Glass (2019)::rating::2.5

After 20-plus years of filmmaking, the M. Night Shyamalan template for storytelling has become quite clear: He spends around 100 minutes carefully setting a table with plates, glasses, candles, and then strips off the tablecloth in the last 60 seconds. These cinematic shenanigans have produced a filmography with decidedly mixed results. I staggered out of…

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 19, 20190Comments