The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)::rating::3::rating::3::rating::3

I t's shocking that Super Mario Bros. arrived nearly forty years ago, and we're just now getting a respectable film adaptation. After all, Mario is the most iconic video game figure in history, and the most recognizable cartoon character this side of Mickey and Bugs. Sure, Hollywood attempted a live-action take back in the 90s, but…

ByTodd WoffordMay 21, 20230Comments

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Knock at the Cabin (2023)::rating::2.5

M ost of M. Night Shyamalan's output since Unbreakable has amounted to the cinematic equivalent of a wet willie. The bad thing is most of these movies have actually been about three-fourths good: Shyamalan will often dupe us with a fascinating-if-flawed premise, charged with the alternating current of moving character beats and genuinely chilling atmospherics. Then,…

ByTodd WoffordMay 16, 20230Comments

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Renfield (2023)::rating::2.5

R enfield is a lean, dumb sitcom of a movie, built on an irresistible idea: Take Bram Stoker's titular character, Count Dracula's fanatical bug-munching toady, and rework him for modern times. Put simply, this Renfield is a long-suffering sycophant, shackled to a toxic relationship with his narcissistic, gaslighting boss. The filmmakers riff on that premise…

ByTodd WoffordMay 12, 20230Comments

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Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)::rating::3.5

I f you're gonna make a movie out of a nerd-porn tabletop game, this is probably the way to do it. Honor Among Thieves never concerns itself with character classes, hit points, or will saves. Instead, we get a rollicking lark of a movie, stocked with quippy ragamuffins who do everything but wink at the…

ByTodd WoffordMay 4, 20230Comments

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Lawrence of Arabia (1962)::rating::5

L awrence of Arabia made me love movies. When I was a boy, the scene where Peter O'Toole's Lawrence first ventures into the desert was a transformative experience. David Lean's majestic direction, combined with Maurice Jarre's lush, romantic score and Freddie Young's jaw-dropping 70mm cinematography, formed a moment of magnificent magic. For the first time,…

ByTodd WoffordMay 3, 20230Comments

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Scream VI (2023)::rating::3.5

F ull disclosure: I left the Scream franchise for dead about three sequels ago. After all, a bunch of bratty know-it-alls riffing on stale horror tropes is cute for one movie, but it starts gettin' old real quick. By the third installment, these flicks started losing a lot of blood, and seemed destined for a…

ByTodd WoffordApril 27, 20230Comments

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Casablanca (1942)::rating::5

T ake a poll of the most iconic movie scenes in history, and a lot of the same answers will pop up: Dorothy Gale singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" would make the list. So would Don Vito Corleone, stroking a stray cat and making offers nobody could refuse. And then there's Casablanca. Even people who've…

ByTodd WoffordApril 26, 20230Comments

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Shazam! Fury of the Gods (2023)::rating::2

T he first Shazam! flick was a refreshing blast that proved the DCEU could go an entire movie without sticking its proverbial wiener in the mashed potatoes. Too bad, then, that Fury of the Gods spends 130 insufferable minutes plunging right back into the butter and chives. This is the worst kind of superhero sequel--bigger and louder,…

ByTodd WoffordApril 24, 20230Comments

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The Warriors (1979)::rating::3.5

N ew York City has been a supporting character in many films, but it’s never been so villainous as in The Warriors. For 92 bleak and bleary-eyed minutes, a group of surly young gang members must navigate the length of a city that wants to destroy them. Every inch of that journey is a grimy, post-apocalyptic…

ByTodd WoffordApril 19, 20230Comments

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A Man Called Otto (2022)::rating::3.5

I n my years working retail, I once met a man very much like Otto Anderson. He was sour and belligerent, often muttering hideous and hateful diatribes under his breath. Restaurant servers and grocery clerks scattered at the sight of him, like frightened Tokyoites from a raging Godzilla. He was almost universally despised, but I…

ByTodd WoffordApril 14, 20230Comments