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Movie Reviews by Todd Wofford— Funny, informative movie reviews

Glass (2019)::rating::2.5::rating::2.5::rating::2.5

After 20-plus years of filmmaking, the M. Night Shyamalan template for storytelling has become quite clear: He spends around 100 minutes carefully setting a table with plates, glasses, candles, and then strips off the tablecloth in the last 60 seconds. These cinematic shenanigans have produced a filmography with decidedly mixed results. I staggered out of…

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 19, 20190Comments

The Podcast

Cinemavino – Episode 6: Lord Piddlington::rating::0

For this episode, Travis and I discuss our favorite movies of the year, which coincides with my article on the same subject.

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 16, 20190Comments

Latest The Archive

The Top Ten Movies for 2018::rating::0

For the first time since high school, I've made an effort to see just about every movie out there. I didn't quite bat 1.000, but I'm comfortable with a belated review of Holmes and Watson if you are. If that movie somehow turns out to be East of Eden, well, then we'll squeeze it on here.…

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 16, 20191Comment

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If Beale Street Could Talk (2018)::rating::5

"I hope that nobody has ever had to look at anybody they love through glass." These words open If Beale Street Could Talk, with every syllable coated in aching, anguished sadness. Since the dawn of theater, a thousand tragedies have struck a thousand characters with the burden of inevitability, whether that be in the form of…

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 15, 20191Comment

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The Upside (2018)::rating::2.5

As a young dweeb, I found great joy in flipping to the "How to Increase Your Word Power" Section of a Reader's Digest. It's truly an invaluable tool for infusing your vernacular with big, flowery words that make people roll their eyes and walk away from you at parties. I remember being struck by how many…

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 11, 20190Comments

Greatest The Archive

Roma (2018)::rating::5

In Roma, Alfonso Cuarón's camera often pans languidly across a scene, like a mind wandering into its own corners. Cuarón's vivid recollections of childhood rise like a slow swell of water, from the gentle lapping of drainwater that opens the film to the pounding ocean waves in its final act. If a river can reshape the…

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 4, 20192Comments

The Archive

Eighth Grade (2018)::rating::4.5

Between the age of twelve and eventual adulthood lies a gaping, treacherous chasm, filled with the wilderness of puberty. Hormones rage, bullies reign, and our once-beloved parents become pariahs. Not surprisingly, most movies approach this awkward time of life awkwardly: Actual teen issues of anxiety, depression, and burgeoning sexuality are difficult and three-dimensional, so it's…

ByTodd WoffordJanuary 3, 20192Comments

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They Shall Not Grow Old (2018)::rating::5

The old saying goes that, "war is long periods of tedium punctuated by moments of sheer terror." No film in recent memory captures that contrast with more crystalline ferocity than They Shall Not Grow Old. In the hands of Peter Jackson, this documentary never feels like a simple remastering or a coloring of the past with crayons. Instead, Jackson…

ByTodd WoffordDecember 28, 20181Comment

Latest The Archive

Vice (2018)::rating::3.5

When offered the vice presidency, Daniel Webster was succinct: "I do not propose to be buried until I am dead." Vice, Adam McKay's scorching dramedy, posits that Dick Cheney took a cold, clinical look at the same office and saw boundless opportunities. McKay spends over two hours skewering Cheney on a spit, placing many of…

ByTodd WoffordDecember 27, 20180Comments

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Bumblebee (2018)::rating::3.5

Bumblebee makes a wise move by chucking the mechanical three-ring circus of past Transformers films into the dumpster. In place of all that clunking cacophony we get something surprising: A fun, patiently-paced film, filled with characters who do more than run, scream, and hide. This is a prequel that feels more like a rejuvenation. It's 1987, and…

ByTodd WoffordDecember 23, 20180Comments