As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."
S o sayeth the Old Testament. Indeed, it turns out the best person to mold Jean-Claude Van Damme into a precise killing…
A nyone crafting a paper on the uselessness of movie sequels could cite Fright Night Part 2 as a prime example. It xeroxes the most generic traits of the first film,…
Go on. Hurt me.” — Me, as the opening credits rolled.
W e’re four movies into this godforsaken franchise, and I know what’s coming. I steel my nerves, like those burly,…
I f they handed out a generic award for Best-Looking Movie of 2022, Ticket to Paradise would be on the noms list. As a squabbling, middle-aged couple, George Clooney and Julia Roberts…
W hat am I gonna do, knock this movie for being stupid? BASEketball is the cinematic equivalent of a fart machine. It couldn't be prouder of how dumb it is,…
H alloween Ends exists as both blessing and curse. The blessing is, as the title suggests, it does indeed end. The curse is everything else about it. For 111 godless,…
M ean Guns resembles the kind of movie Quentin Tarantino would've made if he'd grown up under power lines. The filmmakers desperately try to mimic QT's edgy dialogue and operatic flourishes…
O ver the Top is a strange, coked-out fever dream of a movie, replete with arm wrestling montages and pounding 80s power ballads. Everybody's drenched in sweat, whether they're the…
I magine a rusty old Buick, sitting in a junk yard. Next, picture it slipping into neutral, and its old wheels creaking forward. The car lurches, helplessly and aimlessly, until…
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